Let me begin by saying this – my disdain for the holiday season is not merely a ploy to be difficult and persnickety as some may think. For as far back as I can remember, I have been in total opposition to Christmas. And then it became…a thing. Oh, Ally’s the Grinch. Ally is all about ruining everything. Ally has no soul. etc. My college roommates may have, in fact, photoshopped a picture of my face onto the Grinch’s body and spread it around like the Christmas card from hell. Not the point.
Today with my students, as with all great / sometimes terrifying things, we were discussing regrets. They got to asking me if there was anything in my life I wish I had done differently. I explained that there is so much I have yet to do, I couldn’t really answer in entire truth. ( I did say I wish I had listened to my parents more, to which they thought I was full of shit. but seriously, my parents are always right. it’s so irritating) Upon closer reflection (namely, after they left and I could have a thought to myself with out the sound of texting/nose blowing/ flirting) I did think of something I regret – all those years I didn’t take a minute to enjoy the holidays.
Really, it’s the gift giving that freaks me out. And the crowds. And the parking. And the debt.
My family has a tendency to be a little a) particular about what they ask for / what and b) vague about telling you exactly what that thing is, so when you inevitably give the wrong gift it becomes…a thing (again.). So, with this in tow I started freaking out about Christmas, and then resenting it all together. But, what have I missed? I missed my niece and nephew and the sheer freaking JOY that oozes out of their little faces for, like, the entire month of December. I missed learning how to cook and bake with my mom and aunts. I missed hearing the classic Cimerola stories, the same ones, every year because I was too busy obsessing about wrapping and price tags and credit card bills. I miss out on actually enjoying the last minute (read totally panic’d) gift wrap sessions at my sister’s house on Christmas eve. I missed Church with my dad, the most devout person I know – which I used to love – and then started scheduling around so I’d get in just in time to miss it.
I usually travel to Europe over the holidays so I can get the hell out of dodge as soon as humanly possible. But why?
The point is not to recount all the things I am lucky to have, which are so many. The point is larger. It’s about enjoying the stuff you love, the people you love, because you only get so many holidays, you know? And this year, everyone is getting homemade ornaments and Dean Martin mix CDs cause this bitch is BROKE. Preach.
I’m glad you’re broke for christmas because you really should try to enjoy it, bullshit and all. I’ve always found that not buying presents/doing the cheesy yet still enjoyable home-made gift makes christmas way better anyway. Adding to that, there’s a good chance you get to see me during that time!!!!!